Slack Like Me

There's a new book out that gives introverts some measure of satisfaction. Susan Cain has just published, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, an appreciation of those who eschew the limelight.

I guess the limelight is OK, if it's indirectly focused on our work. But introverts like me get sweaty palms and knotted intestines when we have to stand up and speak, putting the focus on ourselves, the physical person. As you can imagine, this tendency can make being a trial lawyer challenging.

During a recent trial I spent the morning being yelled at alternately by the judge and my client. Neither one was happy with me. Both parties were crazy. I think if I could have taken the handcuffs off my client and exchanged them for the judge's robe, all things would have remained fairly equal. Trial could have proceeded as before -- with my client on the bench and the judge sitting next to me as the defendant -- and society would have remained just as safe.

But the uncontrollable physical reaction I had to beginning the trial each day is something I'm sure many introverts suffer. Right before the jury came out, I would feel cold and shaky. My hands got clammy, and my bowels seized up. And, of course, there was a week of sleeplessness and misery. I don't think natural extroverts get that way. I think they thrive on the attention, the pressure, the rush.


Cain was a lawyer, so her take on introverts is that they suffer in their quietude. She assumes that we long to peel away our thin skin and emerge as extroverted superheroes. Lawyers notwithstanding, most introverts do just fine, thank you very much. Scientists, writers, musicians, artists, even teachers subscribe to the backrooms of life. It's not so bad in here. So shut up, and leave me alone.